Am I true to myself?

am-i-true-to-myself

I have to live with myself, and so

I want to be fit for myself to know,

I want to be able, as days go by,

Always look myself straight in the eye;

I don’t want to stand, with the setting sun,

And hate myself for things I have done/

I don’t want to keep on a closet shelf

A lot of secrets about myself,

And fool myself, as I come and go,

Into thinking that nobody else will know.

The kind of man I really am;

I don’t want to dress up myself on sham.

I want to go out with my head erect,

I want to deserve all men’s respect;

But here in the struggle for fame and pelf

I want to be able to like myself.

I don’t want to look at myself and know

That I am bluster and bluff and empty show.

I can never hide myself from me;

I see what other may never see;

I know what others may never know,

I never can fool myself and so,

Whatever happens, I want to be

Self-respecting and conscience free.

  • A poem by Edgar Guest
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3 Ps of Life

3-ps-of-life

Life is full of surprises and we can live our lives with either ‘Apprehension’ or ‘Anticipation’. Apprehension leads to fear, distress, doubt, anxiety and even depression and on the other hand, anticipation leads to excitement, expansion, expression, belief and enthusiasm. Well, it takes knowledge and wisdom to anticipate and anyone can gain it with the practice of 3 Ps of life.

1 – Persistence

As the word says, persistence can make things happen, it is one such force on earth that can make even water cut the rock. Persistence helped builds spaceships, took a failure towards success and help made Thomas Edison build a light bulb too. Persistence of continuing the same activity also build habits and habits are all that we are made of. It is wise to decide on an activity or a goal to work on and then keep persistently working on it. The plan may change but success comes to those who don’t change their destination and keep moving persistently, bit by bit and day by day.

2 – Patience

Great things come out of patience. God has a unique way of gifting fruits to those who have patience. It takes patience to wait for the crop to develop, it takes patience to build a habit and it takes patience to build a character. Although, patience doesn’t mean, keep waiting for something you wish to happen without putting your effort into it. It simply means, while trying, be patient to embrace the results. It is only human to be impatient but faith in God will help all of us to be patient.

3 – Positivity

Life means ‘Growth’ and, of course, we are talking about a positive growth. See around you, we are all surrounded by mostly a negative environment. It is a lifelong struggle to remain positive. Life is a uphill task and negativity only drags us down. Ever wondered how we dread to loose a negative place or a person at the very first instance we get a chance and on the other hand we get drifted towards the positive person or a place. This is the reason we often visit religious places to find some positive energy (life promoting energy). All this suggests us to remain positive or have a positive mental attitude in our lives so as to become one of the life promoting factors with whom everyone wants to associate and grow with.

  • Gurdeep Singh

Decision to act: 5-step plan

decision

It is a wondrous thing that the decision to act releases energy in the personality. For the days on, a person may drift alone without much energy, have no particular sense of direction and having no will to change. Then something happens to alter the pattern and may be, very simple and consequential in itself, but it stabs awake, it alarms and disturbs, in a flash, it gives a vivid picture of oneself and it passes. THE RESULT IS DECISION, sharp, definitive decision and in the wake of decision, yes, even as the path of decision itself, energy is released. The act of decision sweeps all before it and life of an individual may be changed forever. Once you decide to take decision, to act, you begin to access power within you that will increase and enhance your personal power.

Decision to act is one of the easiest and also the most difficult part. Most of us wish for things to happen and are even convinced with the idea of the same, but deciding, sometimes take the entire lifetime. Below are the five steps that will help you act on your decision to act:

1 – Realize and accept

The first and often the most difficult part of decision making, is realization and acceptance of the fact that something needs to be done in this situation. Things do happen around us and within us, but most of the time we take it for granted and keep living with it (sometimes, even throughout our lives). Things starts getting worse and our adapting nature keeps adjusting to the ever-worsening situation, and there comes a time when you yell inside you – ‘Enough is enough’, that very moment is the moment of realization. This is the time to accept the fact with courage and time to decide (remember, this is the time to decide only, don’t even think for a fraction of a second how to act upon it, as your current state of mind will not be able to show the path of action). Just decide and don’t just wish, as wish is situational but decision is permanent.

2 – Is procrastination helping or hurting you?

The very nature of humans is to get into as much comfort as possible, this is the root cause of all the problems of life. Even if we know that we need to act on a decision the we made, we keep procrastinating to act upon it. This is the time to ask ourselves a question (if required, again and again and if possible post it on the wall of your room) – ‘Is procrastination helping or hurting me?’

3 – What is blocking you?

Procrastination, of course won’t be helping you in most of the cases, so it is time to ask another useful question to yourself – What is blocking me? Why don’t I have the courage to face it? Most of the times the answer to this will be ‘FEAR’, fear of failure, fear of approval by others, fear of feeling foolish, etc. But most of the times fear turns out to be – False Evidence Appearing Real (FEAR). Remember, if you are fearing failure it is only because one reason – ‘What will people say?’ Well, let me tell you one thing, 80% of the people don’t care and the remaining 20% are glad that you failed. So rather than looking for the blocks, look for the ways.

4 – Worst case scenario

The best way to act on your decision is to consider the worst-case scenario. This will give you a perspective and will prepare you for the worst that can happen, at least nothing beyond can happen. Acceptance of the situation in your mind will free your mental creative faculties, that will help you find effective ways to act. This step is very important, as most of the fears will shed and will give you the strength to act.

5 – The feeling after acting

We are emotional beings and our activities are rooted from our emotional state. We either act to avoid pain or to gain pleasure, therefore the feeling associated with our actions is very important. The feeling of ease and pleasure will motivate us to act and this is the reason why it is very important to know how you are going to feel after acting on your decision. The feeling of pleasure will motivate you to act on your decision.

Whenever you are bewildered by the question, whether to act on your decision or not, do consider this 5-step formula to help you out.

  • Gurdeep Singh

7 signs of NEGATIVE people

negative-people

If you need to grow with leaps and bounds in your life then it is not only important for you to remain positive in every situation but also to keep away from the negative ones. It is wise to stay away from negative people rather than wasting your energies to make them think positively, because you cannot change anyone, but yes, you can set an example so that they might get some idea how positivity helps.

Negative people are so expert negative thinkers that they will drag you to their level and then beat you up with their experience, so avoidance of any such argument is the best policy.

You might wonder how would you identify such negative people at the first place, then look for these seven signs, which generally are present all together in a negative person:

1 -The are Never Happy

They are not at all happy for you when you achieve something good in your life. You can easily make through their fake happiness for your achievement. Often these people are seen backbiting, and you can just imagine what they would be talking about you when you are not present!

2 – They are Never Wrong

No matter what happens, they are never at fault. Their mantra is “I’m never wrong and it is not my fault”. So you will find them blaming everyone than themselves. These guys love to blame others. So, if you find someone blaming you for the fault you are not even remotely connected to, then don’t take it personally, it is not your problem. I think the best way is to avoid any argument and try to avoid the situation, because anyhow, the authorities will find out what went wrong.

3 – They prefer Arguments

Of course, it is really hard to win a point in a discussion when the starting point is – “It’s not my fault”. This is where rather than discussion, arguments starts, and you know now that you will never be able to win an argument with negative people, as their experience is far more robust than yours in this area. Beware! never get into any argument with these people.

4 – They are Takers and not Givers

These people love to take from you and find it very hard to give you anything. A deep sense of insecurity drives them to accumulate as much as they can and loosing anything from their hand makes them insecure. Even then if they ask something from you, you should offer them graciously not because you want to avoid any argument but because you are a giver, and giver are always happy.

5 – They love Gossip

It looks like backbiting is their favorite sport Negative people love gossiping about people who are not around. This gives them the feeling of being better than others. Since they are in the denial mode, they rarely learn, so to show themselves to be  bigger than others they choose to gossip and backbite. If you happen to hear some of the gossip about you, don’t loose your cool as it is not going to demean you but the person who is gossiping.

6 – Their life is full of Drama

Have you ever watched a popular daily soap on you TV? Well, you will find the life of negative people as dramatic as that. Not only that, they love to drag you into their drama. Since they don’t want to live in reality, their life is full of drama and they keep blaming everything except them for their situation.

7 – They need Control

So true, they don’t have their life in their control, so they are in a continuous pursuit to take over the control of others’ lives. How do they do it? The belittle you to keep you under their control. They are actually control freaks. Since they don’t have the ability to grow, they tray and drag others down so that they look tall comparatively, which seldom helps. To avoid such interactions, keep calm and just don’t take their words to your heart. Remember you are what you are and someone’s opinion about you doesn’t have to become your reality.

  • Gurdeep Singh

Rejection is a MYTH

rejection

Sales professionals will really be able to appreciate the meaning of the word ‘REJECTION’. It really sounds like a nightmare to be rejected in the marketplace. If we just separate the feeling associated with the term ‘Rejection’ we will be able to closely analyze the situation which led to rejection.

Before we go further, let me tell you one thing (always remember) – “It was the idea that you presented, that was rejected and NOT YOU”. Always consider rejection at a logical level and never take it personal. Remember ‘Rejections’ are a part of our progress, rejections aligns us with the kind of person we need to become in order to be successful. If we really understand the cause of rejection then we will learn from it and will improve in our very next approach, and perhaps we again might get rejected but this time the cause may be different (time to learn another lesson).

Rejection is just an incidence which will be forgotten by both you and the other person/institution that rejected you. You are rejected as a person only when you stop learning from the rejections and stop improving yourself. Never give up, situations come to us temporarily to teach us a lesson, to help us improve, always be as flexible as a grass blade to adapt in any situation and move on.

Colonel Sanders (founder of KFC) was rejected 1009 times before he heard his first ‘yes’. He was a great example of how one can take ‘Rejection’ in a positive manner and move on to create a huge success. Rejections can be handled by having a deep sense of perseverance, dedication, and ambition along with hard work.

I would suggest you to go out and face as many rejections as you can and fail your way towards success.

  • Gurdeep Singh

Repetition: Why is it important?

Whether learning a rhyme or executing a well planned marketing promotional plan, repetition is what makes it successful. Ever wondered why is that it is difficult (in general) to memorize things without repeating?

Just remember how our moms used to teach us when we were children, yes, through repetition. If we did some mistake in out worksheets, our teachers used to make us write it for number of times (repetition). Before going for a presentation, we repeat to ourselves many times, that we want to present, in a sequence. Now, let us see why repetition is important.

To understand this, we need to understand that we live in a conscious as well as a subconscious state at the same time. Our actions are controlled by our subconscious mind based upon the information stored in it and the information that enters our subconscious mind is through our conscious mind (through 5 senses). Our conscious mind receives and processes the information that enters through 5 senses (touch, see, feel, taste and smell) and the result (processed information) is then stored as it is in our subconscious mind, which decides the action of our body.

Our subconscious needs repetitive feeds to memorize the information. If the information enters our subconscious is in the same pattern repeatedly, we store it and thus creates a memory. Memory is weak if the information entering our subconscious is non-repetitive or the repetition looses its pattern of processed information. Information registration becomes easy and long lasting if information enters the mind from more channels (like just listening or seeing). This is the reason why companies have come up with ‘Product Experience Stops’, where the customer can not only see the product but also feel, taste, hear and smell, all at the same time to register the brand in a strong way into our subconscious. The focus of our conscious mind plays a crucial role at the time of receiving the information. While processing the information, if it can relate the processed information with our previously stored information or feeling then the memory is strong and lasts for a long time. Repetition, however makes it easy to register the information more effectively.

This is the reason advertisements are designed in an interesting way so that the viewer should view it repeatedly, thus registering the brand And remember, all purchase decisions are made at our subconscious level and the only way to tap the subconscious is through repetition.

Our children, our greatest and our only treasure

I’m sure you all will agree with me that the above statement is an absolute truth. I strongly believe that every child on the face of this earth is a born genius. It is we, the parents (major) and our environment (to some extent) unknowingly and due to the lack of proper education in parenting, force them to mediocrity. I have not seen a single parent who does not wish for the bright future for their children but it is so unfortunate that human species is the only species who become parents without knowing how to behave like one. This is all because of the way we get our education. We are educated to be a performer so that we can compete in this fierce world of competition and thus we lag behind in the understanding of the basics of life.

Life is meant to enjoy it and not to work day and night madly to accumulate the materials of this world, which ultimately are going to remain here. Now this basic psyche is making our children lose their genius. We force them to think like we do and kill their basic instincts and passion given to them by the Mother Nature. Just look are the carefree smile, truth and innocence our children have and at times it really makes me feel that may be we are jealous of these attributes, that is why we want to take it away from them (Isn’t it !). Children are just like budding, delicate plants which have their own direction and pace of growth. We want them to grow in the direction we want and the height of unawareness is when we want them to grow at the pace we want.

Come on friends, it is so naïve for us to ask our kids to perform well when they are grown up and forgetting the fact that it is we who have to perform because they are not living their but our lives. We wanted a mango from an apple tree and now when the tree grows up and the mangoes don’t show up we get frustrated and start blaming the grown up tree, which at this time is so depressed and confused that it is now not able to produce even apples, for which it was made for. It is the high time for us to be just a support to our kid’s growth and should never interfere in their pace or the direction of their growth. Believe me, they will never let you down and whatever fruit they are destined to produce, they will produce the best in the world if you just take care of providing them a pure fertilizer of love, affection and support to them. Because life always finds its way, but it is we who interfere and make it directionless.

I’m sure this will be a useful information for you and will help you understand your child even more.

– Gurdeep Singh

Be a role model to your child

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. This is a universal principle that is applicable even to human beings and not only the things. Our children do exactly what we do and not what we say them to do. They are our exact reflection, therefore watch your actions. It is easy to control and amend our conscious actions (needs lots of conscious efforts) but what about the actions that arise from our subconscious mind? Well, it is easy to notice them if we keep our minds wide open and receptive to the feedback even from a young child and not taking it offensively (your ego is very expensive, kindly don’t loose it!). Remember, we as parents, can be the best role models for our children and their failure or success actually reflects our failure or success, since they are nothing but our mirror images. If we want them to get early in the morning then we have to get up first, if we want them to speak truth then we must see to it that we demonstrate the same at all the times. My God, our children are very clever, they notice even a small variation in our actions and try to imitate it. We too are humans and at times we too can be wrong, but rather than justifying our wrong actions it is wise to accept our mistake and promise our child that it will never happen again (just as we expect our child to do in that situation) and see to it that it never happens again.
Our small efforts on the day today basis will make us a hero in the eyes of our child and will prompt them to follow the same (at which they are good at, copying). So, be a reason for your child’s action that makes them proud and us too.
I’m sure you are following the same principles and will be a hero of your child (as my parents are).

– Gurdeep Singh

The Blind

There was a blind girl who hated herself just because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She said that if she could only see the world, she would marry her boyfriend.

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her and then she could see everything, including her boyfriend. Her boyfriend asked her, “now that you can see the world, will you marry me?”

The girl was shocked when she saw that her boyfriend was blind too, and refused to marry him. Her boyfriend walked away in tears, and later wrote a letter to her saying:

“Just take care of my eyes dear.”

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

This is how human brain changes when the status changed. Only few remember what life was before, and who’s always been there even in the most painful situations.

Life Is A Gift

Today before you think of saying an unkind word–
think of someone who can’t speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food–
think of someone who has nothing to eat.

Before you complain about your husband or wife–
think of someone who is crying out to God for a companion.

Today before you complain about life–
think of someone who went too early to heaven.

Before you complain about your children–
think of someone who desires children but they’re barren.

Before you argue about your dirty house, someone didn’t clean or sweep–
think of the people who are living in the streets.

Before whining about the distance you drive–
think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.

And when you are tired and complain about your job–
think of the unemployed, the disabled and those who wished they had your job.

But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another–
remember that not one of us are without sin and we all answer to one maker.

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down–
put a smile on your face and thank God you’re alive and still around.

Life is a gift – Live it, Enjoy it, Celebrate it, and Fulfill it.

The important things in life

JarA philosophy professor stood before his class with some items on the table in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, about 2 inches in diameter.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up the remaining open areas of the jar.

He then asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “Yes.”

“Now,” said the professor, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The rocks are the important things – your family, your partner, your health, your children – things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter – like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else, the small stuff.”

“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party, or fix the disposal.”

“Take care of the rocks first – the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”